Welcome

Hi, I’m Kendra Turnbull.

I wanted to create a safe and honest place where life — and the different seasons that come with it — become a little more relatable. A place where people can come and know they are not alone.

A little background about me: I have been married to my husband, James, since May 6, 2017. Together, we have four children — just not in the traditional way of having little ones here with us on Earth.

Our children gained their wings before we ever got to meet or hold them, but we recognize that they existed. They were each their own individuals, each a miracle in their own way. They were loved, wanted, and they are missed every single day.

Our first loss was a set of twins through miscarriage. Their names are Landyn James and Marli Danielle, and they were called to Heaven on March 7, 2017.

Hayden Avery was also lost through miscarriage and was called home on December 15, 2017.

Our last angel is Riley Blake, who was called home on January 4, 2022, after an ectopic pregnancy of the right ovary.

This story — our reality — is something I never imagined I would live through, but here we are.

I’m not saying James and I have everything figured out, because we absolutely don’t. But through every storm, we have chosen to grow together instead of simply going through it.

Life and hard seasons can feel overwhelming. One of the reasons for this blog is to give myself an outlet — a place to put the thoughts in my head into words — but even more importantly, to let others know they are not alone.

This journey is more than a statistic. It is a hard and heartbreaking reality for so many families. But even within the pain, there is beauty.

Here, I plan to share not only the details of our losses, but also our infertility journey, faith, and how I have both lost and found it throughout this process. I want to talk about marriage — the ways infertility and loss can shape it, challenge it, and strengthen it — and eventually touch on mental health as well.

This world is chaotic, messy, and unfair at times. There are so many things society tells us should remain taboo, but when we suddenly find ourselves living through those very things, the loneliness and isolation can feel unbearable. The truth is, these experiences are far more common than we think.

Life can be hard, chaotic, unfair, and messy — but there is also beauty in every precious life and every story that deserves to be told.

If you’re here, thank you for being here. I hope this space reminds you that no matter what season you are walking through, you do not have to walk it alone.